I chanced upon something just 5 minutes ago and i couldnt help but to pen it down.
It made me think and wonder quite a bit. What exactly does a relationship between a dating couple mean? And how exactly can a guy be trusted? Sometimes, i really do pity girls who think that having their guy as their boyfriend is the best thing that could ever happen in their life. All they see are their wonderful, sweet, loving and faithful boy. But what what happens if they were all just a facade and they couldnt see or know or realise what their sweet loving boyfriend have been doing behind their back?
Its really saddening to know the truth when it prevails. Especially when you think your guy is totally faithful and loves you wholeheartedly, but in actual fact, have been fooling around, grinding with girls in the club, having hot sex on the bed or doing things you wish you wouldnt know. Yes, they may just be flinging around and ultimately, you're still his 'rightful' girlfriend in status.
Maybe you say "he can go around flinging and having ONS, but i'll still be his girlfriend and i'm the one he really love, who cares?!" That's all a lie! A lie you've said to make you feel better, consoling yourself. Can you really take the blow when you found out about all these stuffs he had been doing, keeping you in the dark? Can you really accept a guy like this? Can you really share your guy with someone else, someone you dont even know. Not one, not two but many! 10s, 100s, 1000s, you name it.
I'm a girl myself, i know i cant. I cant accept this kinda nonsense. But thinking back, i vividly recall i said this to my guy "if you really need sex, go find a girl and fuck, but dont let me know about it". What kinda statement was that? A totally nonsensical sentence made from me. But yes, i did say that, right smack in his face although i know very well i cant accept my boyfriend being shared by some other girls. Of course i cant, who can?!
But i love myself and my body too much, much more than how much i love him and that gave me the strength to make such a statement and leave him in the end. Now you people ask me, why did i even agree to be his girl in the first place?!
And i can only answer you that love is blind. Though it sounds rather cliche, but yes, it made me blind. But i dont wanna be blind again, i dont wanna have a boyfriend unworthy of my love and time.
Well i still believe that there are great guys out there who doesnt do such stuffs to their girlfriend. I believe such men still exists. But its so hard to know what exactly he is doing while you're asleep, and its so hard to see him lying through his eyes. Oh, i dont know. I dont even know what im typing here. There's so many things i wanna say but i cant seem to use the right word to phrase it. Its so hard to put em in words.
But knowing the fact of how some guys think and the things they do really make me shudder and avoid being in a relationship. Ignorance is bliss, i guess you would be happier when you do not know the truth for the truth always hurt.
Would you rather you be ignorant and not know what your guy you've been loving with all your heart and soul, the guy who you think he loves you with all his heart and soul too have been doing behind your back or would you rather know the truth, get hurt and leave?
* yours truly.
amber.ruoxuan\\twenty\
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20051987\\single\\operations analyst @ credit suisse\\friendster*
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